10 Stupidest Resume Responses!

Resumes are very important tools in which companies are able to review applications of qualified employers looking in that specific job field. But mistakes can easily be made, either by accident or by stupidity. Careerbuilder.com made a list of the top 10 biggest blunders and most outlandish statements people have put on resumes. Even out of nearly 2,500 reviewed resumes, some are pretty hard to believe.

10. Reference listed: GOD (no phone number)

9. Hobby listed: Alligator watching.

8. Candidate claimed to be a direct descendant of the ‘Vikings’.

7. Email Address: jakelovesbeer82@yahoo.com (ok I made that up... but NEVER put an email address with “loves beer”).

6. Previous Experiences: Master of Time and Universe

5. Candidate began Resume by asking if “you wanted a Tiger?”

4. Candidate only willing to accept position if he could bring his pet monkey to work with him O_O

3. Candidate predicted that he would have boss’ job in five years.

2. Candidate sent out a twenty-four page resume.

1. Candidate put a picture of her cat at top of resume.

Honorable mentions:

Question: What is your best characteristic?

Answer: “My Hair”.

Job Skills: Anything, I just want a job….

Now, unless the job you were applying for actually had an open position for lifeguarding an alligator swamp down in Florida, I don’t think any of these people will find jobs anytime soon. Religion should never be part of a resume because it will only cause uproar over people who are agnostic. Irrelevant information should always be left off. Keep resumes to the point and within boundaries of what the company might be interested in knowing, in regards to previous work and experiences.

 I do find the monkey one cute, but again, this is something that you should discuss AFTER and only if you receive the job. Resumes should never be more than 2 pages, and even that is long (most want you to fit it on one single page). Never show a blatant or aggressive attitude that makes you seem like you are better than everyone else. Tell the employers what you want to learn from the experience, not how you are going to take over their job. Finally, just leave stupidity out. I love cats. I love comedy. However, it doesn’t belong here. This is a serious paper, and it must be taken seriously, not like one’s Facebook account (Or should that be serious too??).

In conclusion: If you are stupid, smarten up! Or else you better get used to flipping those burgers and living in square boxes.