Since we reviewed the chapter in listening last week, I
thought it would be the perfect time for us to look at 7 tips on how to become a
better listener. Dumb Little Man gave us these simple tips to ensure that we can
be able to communicate more clearly and productively.
1. Remove all Distractions: Basically focus JUST on the
conversation. Remove the cell phone, iPod, or kindle. Give the person talking
your full undivided attention, because it might be something very important
that they just said.
2. Be Present in the conversation: This may be hard if
you have ADD or something like I have (Aspergers), because we allow our minds to sway away to
dreamland once we see something interesting. Others however just show little or
no interest in what that person is saying. You have to actually be within the
conversation, not just nodding your head or repeating what the person just
said. A clear focused mind is necessary.
3. Wait for the other person to finish speaking: Again,
an issue with me. However, I know that it it’s disrespectful for someone to
just talk over someone, just as it is to not be in a conversation. It makes
them feel like what they said means nothing, and it also makes you feel like a
total idiot who just wants to butt in and take over the conversation. Now, a
proper person who listens will also give someone a few seconds to allow them to
speak. Women...we guys would like to talk too at some point ;)
4. Don't assume anything: When you assume, you
characterize your beliefs as to what the other person will say. That's not
always the case. It can also cause anger/frustration with the other party. Ignoring
what the person says and focusing your mind to what you THINK they meant
to say can be extremely dangerous!
5. Look at the sub-Text: Words don't always represent
what a person says. Tone of voice is a powerful tool that can be subjective to
what we hear. Sometimes our words just like to flow out; as such that even an
extra word or two can change the entire structure of what that sentence meant.
Facial expressions and any body language are also helpful for people who know
they are bad at tone distinctions. In other words...get into the mind of the
other person to better the conversation.
6. Ask for Clarification: make sure you got the message
right. It's okay to ask someone to repeat something or to explain what they
meant. It tends to show that you meant well, even though you may have not
gotten it wrong the first time, or had a question about its interpretation. A
good way of doing this is repeating what you thought was said and hopefully you
will get a yes or no response. This now allows for a perfect segment into the
final tip....
7 Ask Questions!: Again, it is perfectly fine to ask
questions. Sometimes a question will allow the conversation to deepen and
allows people to explore a new way of looking at something. If you are unclear,
it can help clarify the conversation at hand. Questions can also allow people
to gather information of what is going on or happening (Communication majors
follow the...who, what, when, where, why, and how technique). You can also ask
questions about their viewpoints on that certain matter.
So there you have it. Listening is a very important tool.
I hope that you all were also able to read this blog as if I was talking to
you. Because words and the way we say them can be very important even in word
text, or just on what we hear and see.
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